Funny Memories From The Past

>>>>I remembered when I was like five years and in a nursery school, A bike rider hit me one day on our way back from school. We used to do hide and seek(We: i mean my twin,step brother and other classmate that stays within our street) On that faithful day, Everyone has crossed the street before me,so as usual I recite my "Look right,look left,look right again before you cross the road) Till today I still dey talk say that phrase is very wrong,cos what about the second "Look right again" Cos that day,when I finished the phrase, I made for the other side of the road,the next thing i heard is Gbooosah. I still walked home that day by myself but popsy hurriedly rushed me to the clinic after setting the Bike man free. But the gave me 2face cos my other face bruised so badly and when it became healed,on side of my face was dark and the other was light,my siblings used to make jest of me then.

>>>>(You must have read this on JDB blog b4). I almost entered 419 trap one day and till today I still can't rmb what made me followed the guy to their meeting place.
When we got there I met two other women(Na mama dem be o) and another guy and they told me about the stuffs they need money to clear at the port,they even showed me some Ghana must go bags..But they didn't open it sha.

So they brought one calabash,say make we swear that I won't tell any other person and if I do, I will die.....So we all drank from the calabash

So they asked me to go and bring money or gold anything valuable that we can turn into cash. That we'll make lots of money and from the proceed I can returns all those stuffs back. So one of them accompanied me to the bus stop, So when I got back home... I was truly looking for money.. I checked mummy's wardrobe looking for money and valuables. It was my twin brother that shook me out it. And he was like why are you scattering Mummy's things,what are you looking for?

I told him,I cant tell him. Then he locked the wardrobe and kept the key. So I started dragging it with him (If you had seen me that day, you would have known am on a mission). So I started harassing him to give me the key,so he went to report me to our Big brother. So he asked me. What are you looking for? I said money, he dipped his hand in his pocket and gave me N50. I rejected it. that I needed something bigger than that. He asked me again For what? I was looking at the ground. Talk to me,what do you need money for?
I told him I cant tell him,he asked my twin to go and he began to queried me. not knowing what to say anymore.. I burst into tears, that I will die, if I tell him.
To cut the long story short. I told him oooo...And till today my siblings still make jest of me( I'm going to die if I tell u)But this is me still writing here oo.. I no die ooh gbam.

>>>> Another is when we were still in the Nursery school, popsy used to give us 5kobo stipend,most of the time,we don't get to spend it. So one day, after school,we were having lunch, mumsy used to leave our lunch separately,but trust us the three musketeers,we will turn all the food together in a bowl and start eating together(Mostly is rice anyway). So that faithful day, I kept my 5kobo underneath the bowl of rice, so when I went to get water, my twin brother took it,when I remembered, I started looking for it. My step brother gave him away. So I went after him in mad fury. He gave me the coin back. But guess what I did with it naughty me. I kept the coin on my own side of the place inside the rice. By the time we finished eating, everybody has forgotten about the coin. So I started looking for it again. When everyone realized that I had swallowed the money(cos i don't chew rice, I swallow). SO they ran in panicked to tell popsy again. I was rushed to the clinic again.. But was able to get the coin out later,but could dare not touch it..(U know what I mean)LOL

>>>> Is wondering what is it about cigarette.So one day,we bought a stick of cigarette and we all ran up stair with our neighbors. We light the cigarette and we all took a puff each,coughing as we pass the stick around all five of us.. Then someone caught us in the act. We all got six stroke of the cain each in our butt.

>>>>Another funny episode was between me and my twin brother, both of has the knack for having this funny fight where he won't let my hand be the last on him and me sef won't allow his to be last on me. So that faithful morning we were at it again and in a bid not to let my hand last on his body, he ran out of the room only to collide with my sister that was bringing in hot tea for breakfast. I pity him small sha..But I had the last laugh that day and since then,he no dey joke with me again.

>>>> Later we soon found ourselves in a boarding our for our primary school education. In the female hostel, we used to have this mini dramas, where we play Father and mother between ourselves. We used to do daddy and mummy having sex in the night. Girl on top of girl,rubbing our little bodies together. Imagine with our koko pointed breast...

>>We also used to cook rice in an empty tin of powder milk,bournvita etc,then we use pepper and tomatoes that we steal from the school garden and oil from the dinning kitchen.

>>Popsy maternal Aunt used to visit us in school back then cos she stay in the town. May her soul rest in perfect peace. She used to bring stuffs for us especially food. She used to cook Rice and Yam together and is always sweet o,but we don't like it,trust our hostel mates,they are always expecting that Old woman more than us cos we are always giving it out.

>>And wait for this, we used to make cake with Garri,bournivita,milk,sugar,gogo(smarties)on our birthday.It used to be sweet. Contact me if u want a cake like that.(Damn I cant but laugh whenever I think of this)

>>>>More in boarding house. There was a day I was in the toilet(Our toilet was outside the hostel)So that faithful afternoon,we were having siesta, so I took permission to go the toilet. As I started my mission, I was looking down at the long thing coming out of my yansh and praying it should not break(Na tush pit toilet oh before you start to dey run ur mouth). So I looked up, guess what was facing me. A very big SNAKE, laid coiled up in front of me and looking at me. How and when the snake got there I didn't know. I stood still,even the excrete refuse to come out or cut off sef. I started sweating profusely. I was so much afraid. And I cant even run cos the snake has block the door way. As luck would have it. The snake just turn and crawled away. (Don't ask me if I wait to finish my mission in the toilet oh or even clean up sef).. I ran into the hostel through the backdoor shouting snake..snake..snake.. Everybody in the hostel ran out through the front door.(Even the house mistress fled too) It was really a mad day.

20 Browser(s):

Afrobabe said...

Wow, so many memories brought to live by this post...One could write a million posts after reading this....

lol @ the snake in the loo...infact God forbid such thing...

JustDB said...

wow.. lots of stuff to remember o.....lol \' yr cakes... inventive i must say...

Anonymous said...

LMAOOOO!!!!!

omg and I tot I was the only one with an eventful childhood....lol thanx alot for this post...

Tee said...

lol, this post really made me laugh, you were a bit naughty as a kid sha

LG said...

'tuface........pele
'gbomogbomo.....thank God lock wardrobe
'buhahahahaha how was d coin removed... u shet-it shey????:-)
kai! i cant stop laffing
omoge' norrin do u jare:-)

Unknown said...

@Afro..Amen... Our childhood is surely a story on his own.I'm sure everyone can write a book on it.

@JDB..I will make u a cake on ur next bday free of charge..Tell me in time oh

@Chari..U re welcome. Things we do when we re groing up..LOL

@Tee.. No mind me jare... You know we don't know when we re doing all this..But when u rmb dem, u can't but laugh.
@LG...LOL... I shit the shit out ofcourse..Kai..growing up is funny..

The Girl with the Red Hair said...

Girl you brought to live a great deal of memories and I could just find myself in one of those issues

Mista Mann said...

you wan make the house mistress remain before ni?

David Adeyemi said...

so u want to be rich by force? hahhahhahah

Imamah Ganiyat Shekoni said...

Lmao. very funny,what a memories you've just shared.Nice galfriend

Obi Eze said...

Jeeez..Pako to the illest...
You should say BAM...instead of Gbooosah..
Making cake with garri..???
And that coin and the toilet story was eeeewww..too much info meeen...LOL..
We all got these kin crazy memories..I'm not as brave as you to share some of mine sha, abeg..!!

Lepacious Bose said...

hhhhm most of this memories are familiar, i guess all kids have the same need for adventure, the cigarret smoking, even the 419 one happend to me but by then i had heard a lot of stories so i just kept laughing through the whole thing to the annoyance of the 419 guys i laughed and laughed and also refused to take any oat, of cos i went home and my parents are still convinced it is a miracle that they did not kill me since it was obvious i new it was a scam. growing up hmmmmlol lol lol lol.

Oluwashina Okeleji said...

Spicy U don koolo but that snake one na classic sha!

Kehinde Orimadegun said...

Lol....am the twin brother oo..@Okeleji..the snake thing is real cos we got lots of that in school then. You could be walking with a snake. and she forget to mention the big Crocodile we killed at the dinning hall.Snakes could drop from the tree onto ur shoulders while playing footie underneath.Lots of crazy things happened..but thats only her ... Read Moreversion.. I have mine as well, but am waiting for a book deal before i share mine. Lol
@Twin sis...you see why am the older one..more wiser than you and even more experienced..I saved you from lots of things then..Remember I used to stand up for you when you are being bullied at school even from our step brother.Anyways, you don get lots of boyfriends so that has turned your head..I no blame you shaa.

Harrison Akas said...

Haha,Spicy!
Ur very innovative n spontaneous in ur tots,i must commend u 4 dat.Kudos!

Olumide M. K. Obasemo said...

@Kehinde, I salute u for preparing the ground....but someone would have prepared d ground for u too...lol....
@Tee, dis is amusing...infact, now i believe the "ori ibeji" legend, for u 2 av survived all these incidents....hahhahaha

Buhle Mncube said...

the snake was probably choking from the smell and decided that he wasn't gonna have you for a snack....lol. nice on girl

Faith Ogah said...

taiwo,dis is funny! d stories are familiar! kudos! wish i cld share mine, they still terrify me till date! nice one

Kehinde Orimadegun said...

Lol...@Olumide...I used to wash her behind, all of sudden she just started growing mangoes and thats when the WAHALA started..Thank goodness I started before her..All those class runs and other hmmm hmmm.Am still waiting for that book deal...
@Buhle..Take note

Rotimi Kayode said...

are all these stories for real? u really had a funny childhood.

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