Being The Other Woman

Playing a second fiddle is always a tough choice, not to talk of being the other woman with your full awareness that your partner has a prior relationship or married for that matter.

But everybody has their reason for doing these. Some women are desperate in need of a man, so they plunge into the relationship while hoping things will get better. Some even do it to while away the time till they get to see someone worthwhile but believe me most of the time they get stuck emotionally in such relationship despite understanding the heartache that involves..

Nevertheless, you can do better than trying to be the other woman that he can fall back to, you need to do something fast and now. Ditch him. Common you can do better than that. You deserve someone who has his only eyes for you. Always remember that you are the only one that holds the key to your happiness.

Did it ever cross your mind that, if you tell him to leave his gf/wife for you first, before you agreed to date him, do you think he would still be hanging around? You do really need to be honest with yourself and stop playing games with your emotions.

In his mind, he is doing you a favor while trying to make you understand he is the best man for you or that can happen to you. He is just being a man after all. Note that whatever reason he is with you while cheating on her doesn't say he loves you any less because he is with her and not you and no matter what you guys shares together, he still run after her, go home to her, wake up with her. She comes first, so what are you still doing with him?

However, their are few things you need to know on why such relationship is not good for you. Remember he belong to someone else. Whatever he is doing to make you happy, he is just being selfish and cheating you too. He is emotionally not available to you and your needs; you are only forcing it.

If you sit back and let an unavailable guy be everything in your life, you are simply breaking your own heart cos he will never be there for you when you need him. You will end up spending memorable days alone, such as his Birthday, Valentine etc because is his wife will who will be there. You may be lucky though if he can conjure up some lies at home.

What normally disturbed me about this is being played for a fool, how does it sounds setting your heart and mind on a man who knows is not going to be there. But I guess is really a matter of choice cos there are single guys out there who can shower you with unbridled love and affection why waste your emotion on a man who is not all that.

However if you are already in one, please bear in mind the following points.

•Don't rely on playing the second best forever. You too can get the commitment you want elsewhere and be someone's most perfect woman not someone attachment.

•Don’t assumed he will leave the girlfriend/wife for you. The best you could do is wait for him to do that before you start the relationship in the first place with enough proof that he really want to be with you.

•Don't be too available - Don't make him feel as if your world is centre around him. Let him know you can do without him however lonely you are. You can spend time with your family and friends and do things for yourself whenever you feel you need to be alone.

•Don't get too obsess with him or about what he’s up to when his not with you.

•Don't be running after him, you can actually do better than running after a man who is only dishing out to you leftover of his attention.

•Don't get pregnant for him, that will be the worst mistake you ever made if you think he will change his mind and look at you differently, there is absolutely nothing like “making” a man be with you.

•Don’t waste the best years of your life as someone’s side kick. Dump him, you will soon find for yourself a nice, decent, and available man who will see what a great person you are.

My own advice is give yourself an ultimatum and plan your exit. You deserve better. Don’t dwell on the crumbles he is dishing out to you, see beyond him and work on flushing him out of your mind and life but please make sure you don't fall into same trap again. All the best.

PS: Sorry I was away for my exams. I didnt even get the chance to tell anyone. Anyway how are you guys... And by the way,thanks for all your comments on my last post. Miss you..Kisses..Hmmm e-kisses 4 y'all.