Valentine Day....

Valentine day is around the corner again..Though for me is just not valentine day, is my Birthday as well..Double celebration huh.. So be saving up for my gift(s)

But the question is:-

Do you get excited for Valentine's Day or do you totally dread it?

What would be the dream gift you'd like to receive this year?

The Fundamental Beauty of A Black Woman

The most beautiful thing on this planet is a black women. More praised than some false idol, more adored than a revolutionary hero, more cherished than an ancient relic. For she is the epitome of beauty. And ever so rarely we are privileged to lay eyes on the core of her beauty. You defined sexy. The standard by which all others are measured..A Black Woman, the element of spring
Black is truly beautiful
Balck is elegant
Black is pure
Black is Me
Big ups for every black, beautiful and bold women out there..

Do you guys ever get to think about the wants of a woman?

Do you know what it feels like when she cant afford to look decent..
In fact just plait her hair and not necessarily spend few thousand naira at the salon?

Do you know what it feels like when she cant afford to buy always pad for N100/tampax for her monthly circle?

Do you know what it feels like not being able to buy her panties or bra not to talk of buying a jean?

Do you know what it feels like when she is a student and she need to buy books and pay her sch fees?

Do you know what it feels like when she need attention of her man,she is not even ready to date men here and there,she just need just a guy and men start playing her about?

Do you know what it feels like when those married men never ever says the truth that they are married and only to find out when you expect them to take you to their house and it never happens?

D you know what it feels like,dating a guy for long time and expect him to pop up the question but he never did?

Do you know what it feels like to sacrifice one's time,attention and affection and you threw it back in our face?

Do you know what it feels like when she has absolutely anyone to help out?

Do you know what it feels like when she has no parents or they are just there parents?

Do you ever think about it MEN?

What do women really want?

A male friend of mine want me to ask we women what we really want? So shoot..
Guys re invited to say their mind out on this. I'm very much interested in knowing your opinion on it. Thank you.

Sex... Sex... Sex....

Sex for money and sex for pleasure which is better and more

Signs To Know When Women Cheat on Their Men?

I've been thinking on what to write since..And just as I have 101 things to write,is so sadden that I cant practically escape mentioning men...our almight men(LOL)..And after the scolding that I got on my article Beware of empty promises.I just had to find something to write about women... But just as I know that am looking for babes troubles..I dont wanna be term as been one-sided all the time..Is only left for the few good women out there to justify themselves.

However I cant just talk about this sign alone without talking on what basically causes women cheating on their men because if a comparison on women fidelity is made between the women of today and those of our mother's or grandmother's time, we can see that over the years the number of women who have cheated on their spouse has increased. Well, this isn't to say that women have grown to be less faithful over the years . 

So, why do woman cheat on their guy? Unlike men, women rarely cheat consciously. What I meant by consciously is that women don't usually actively go out and seek men to have an affair with. Well, there is still a small group that actively seeks men out but for the better part of women who have affairs, it just happened. These women are usually emotionally vulnerable when the affair starts; meaning that their own marriage is going through a rough patch. 

And in as much as I want to resist from saying is the men 's fault.I cant help it but says yeah they caused it.Some men barely pay attention to their women/girlfriend at home.Let alone satisfy her every needs. When I say needs, I do not mean money aspect of it.

Women love to feel loved,been care for and been totally sexually and emotionally balanced.They love to be respected and be confidently sure they hold a very special place in their men's heart. When all that is lacking. Some tend to get equipped with the next available men that is ready to fulfil their fantasies. 

However, we still have some women who are incorrigible. They are just insatiable.And only God can save us from such likes of women 'cos their is absolutely nothing one can do to satisfy or stop their cray-fishing about town.

So what are the tell tale signs that your woman is cheating on you? Honey, if you see your babe splurging on new lingerie and she suddenly start giving you excuses, you'd better start paying attention to what she does and where she goes. If she goes all out and bust your spending your money on new clothes, facials, slimming program and new hairdo, all the more reason for you to check up on your little lady. Chances are she's in 'love' and you are not the object of her affection. 

Women in general love to talk, so if your spouse suddenly stops confiding in you or seeking your advice and opinion, she's most likely getting it from somewhere else. Unlike men, women thrive on emotional support, if she feels that she is not getting it from you or feels that you have lost interest in her, it is only a matter of time before she strays and start cheating behind your back. 

If your woman starts going out frequently for long hours telling you that she is attending to a sick friend, watch out! Her 'sick friend' may not be sick but sure as hell is getting a lot of TLC from yours truly. Or she takes 5 hours to do grocery shopping instead of the usual 1 hours - another sign of a cheating woman. 

How to catch a cheating wife? A good way to start will be your wedding ring. The prominent object that would very likely be missing on cheating wives is their wedding ring. Well, you can't blame them now, can you… you wouldn't want to walk around advertising your marital status when you stray, rite? Naturally, the 'ring' would have to be missing! 

Hey, if you come home one day to find a hot stud in your house whom your wife calls her personal trainer… you can bet your last kobo that he's doing a lot more than just training your wife. 

If you see this pattern in your marriage or relationship, start working very hard to salvage your marriage/relationship. All the hard work will not go to waste as a loving relationship is very fulfilling and helps you through rough times while a destructive relationship is bad for the health.

What I wish I knew 5years ago???

Sometimes in life,we do things wether is good or bad.
But in nearer future, we think about those things and we often laugh over it,regret the act or wish we could have done better.

Five years ago..I was still learning to be a woman..And yes I made a few mistakes which still make me the woman I am today. I have learned many tangible lessons..However I can never change how I learnt them.
But I can sure make it a guideline. It must not change me.It should only make me stronger.

I did really wanna know, what do u really wish you'd knew better 5years ago.
Lets make this A No Hold Barr Discussion.
Lets your friend share one or two lesson from this.

What makes Modern Marriage Ticks?

Marriage is an aged institution which make people run home after the day’s hard work into the open arms of their spouse. Or it’s a caring, loving and sharing relationship that helps people’s lives as individuals leading them to a stable starting point to explore their ambition, inspiration and personalities or an institution that has been tailored for human being. It’s something human beings have invented as some kind of emergency solution. Some people think differently though. Their are people who believe that marriage is a way of life and is a necessary as many other things people engage themselves to in life. .

And if on the other hand, one believes that marriage isn't exactly an ideal institution, but is merely the best solution we happen to have at the moment to loneliness, then we should realize that one should not really expect so much in marriage, their are more to marriages than giving up one's loneliness and status or even change in a name or what u see that every one in the community are doing at the moment.

Their are others who just feel that holy wedlock is a sort of cupboard in which two people can be locked up. Both are dangerous attitudes, because they may result in people expecting too much of that marriage - and doing a little about it themselves...

So if you hold this belief to marriage should expect that the cupboard will start creaking at the joint as soon as its cemented if u did not get your priority right. The cupboard may last just a bit longer if both couples knows what they want and have a mutual way in analyzing issues that make them comfortable and otherwise.

And couples do need to make an efforts to some certain things in relationship towards marriages before they consummate the affair at all. So as to make the cupboard endurable, it is the job of both husband and wife, with both being able to compromise and adjust to whatever make them feel uneasy in their marriage.

Couples who established their own strategies are the ones, who work things out together, and who says “how many children they are going to have or how are we going raise them”? and “Are we going to have a joint account and who is going to be in charge of it?”, just to have a better chance of survival.

People avoid confronting issues that makes them uncomfortable, but successful couples are not afraid to say “Look, something is wrong here”. Women especially are far emotionally stronger this days in coming out to say “I really don’t feel I can continue like these; It doesn't’t satisfy me; Is not making me happy: have a better view of what’s happening in there marriage. But the question what makes the Modern marriage tick? Is extremely difficult, you can get the statistics of marriages that have survived but you can’t tell if they have been happy or not. But u cant get the statistics of broken marriage because many fell down the drain as soon as a problem trigger off. Couples these days opt out rather than facing the whatsoever bothering them together forgetting their vow “For better or worse, till death do us part”

Why Marriages Fail

Not all marriages fail for the same reason. Nor is there usually one reason for the breakdown of a particular marriage. Nevertheless, we hear some reasons more often than others.

They are:-

*Lack of couple’s marital obligation and satisfaction.*Sexual, emotional or physical abuse

*Not listening or not being attentive to spouse

*Adultery *Poor communication

*Nagging *Financial problems

*A lack of commitment to the marriage *Bigamy

*Being dishonest *Not respecting your spouse

*A dramatic change in priorities *Cruel treatment

*Unable to provide children *Infidelity

*Being selfish *Lack Of conflict solution skills

*Failed expectations *Lack of sexual intimacy

Today, its more difficult than ever to go into marriage with the assumption that it’s going to work out or otherwise. During our mother’s time, the rules were clearly established whether it was going to work out or not, either the couple are in love or not or are ready enough for marriage does not concern anyone. And that’s how it has been and which of course generates many stable marriages, which are rare to find now. Because when couples are willing to withstand any problem facing them. Some do this because of the children involved, especially Women, they stood still to take care of their children, when they know if they opted out, then another woman will take their place and whether or not, they still want to be the mother of their own children.

My mum always told me anytime I raised these topic about marriage that is because of the advancement of feminism that we continue to have this problem..According to her" In our days,once you are married, you cant dare go back home. And once there are kids involved, your mind is made up. You guys must have seen and feel what I have endured and still enduring now that you are all grown up (I'm from a polygamous family). But no matter how bad it is, once I remembered that I have got you guys to look out for, I forgot all that hurts as soon as it happened.We have limited options unlike now, where you can opt out and start living alone.In-dependency and Education is another factor and women are more bold to decide on their own but truly marriage involves lots of perseverance"

Although marriage must have its ups and downs and couples had to work hard to make their marriage a success. It is just like anyone else brave enough to embark on a journey and despite all these people, they still have reason for staying put in the marriage whether happy or not And marriage had continued to be a private relationship for people.

Though marriage has nothing to do with expediency and everything to do with love. And love has nothing to do with gain but everything to do with the loss of yourself in another’s person’s world because a happy marriage is not something you get offhandedly on a platter of gold. Its the result of give and take, for better or worse, compromise and a great things that the mind doesn't have going for it, it just happens. Because when a man or woman look for a wife or husband, it ought to be because he or she need someone who could enrich his or her life, bring him or her passion, joy and share his or her interest, dreams and ever after with.

So whatever reason that is making you stay put in your marriage. Stay on and stay blessed.

Sex on the first date what do you think?

I just learn that the mistakes most couples on the issue of Sex on the first date or too soon have often comes from the woman but i really don't know how true that is?

A male friend told me that this happen because we put them in a tight corner while trying to analyze them and before we come out of our findings he would have been tired of waiting.

But what I know is that men are sexually driven toward a relationship and the woman perception are quite different..An average woman would want something to hold on to and something worthwhile.

However men will always want to begin a relationship with sex and knowing fully what makes the other person ticks and if the lady in question will be able to make him stay after their first encounter in bed or if she will make him scamper away after it.

As for me I believe what will be will be, no matter how good u are in bed,men will always have you on the grounds he intended to have matter how good or bad you are in bed.The bottom line is he had satisfy himself with you.

But most woman believes sex on the first day or too soon is bad and would want to know the guy first or create some platforms in which they must be build the relationship first which is different with the men's reasoning.Some men are cool and they will wait till she has establish that sense of belonging she'd want and some will be tire of waiting and forget about her and this might enraged the woman in the long run.

Me I think that when a woman choose to be with a man she cares about,it must not necessarily because of sex or the thought that she is ready for the wham-bam might be for some other reasons best known to her.

The basic thing I want you to know here, is just be who u wanna be and if you want something go for it..time wait for no one..the time you use in building lofty ideas on the winds might actually be making another person going crazy.

Most times will do take people who cares about us for granted and true love,friendships,relationship are like boats when you miss them the first might not get a chance to get on board again.I hope I'd pass a message across to you and i will like to know your opinion on this.

When the Line Is Drawn

Who doesn’t want to be in relationship or get married these days? Every eight out of ten individual wants to because relationships, love and marriage is such a wonderful thing that fills everyone with warmth, with the joy of being somebody’s. And whether in cold or warmth, people are happy to find eternal happiness in each other ’s heart.

And of course just as people are getting hooked, there are thousand breaking up at this moment. But whether its worth our while or not, is not the problem. The problems begin long before the relationship or marriage is cemented. Couples who began their dating relationships starry-eyed and dreamy all too often end them red-eyed and dismayed.

Girlfriends and boyfriends, who were certain theirs was the romance of the century, find themselves burn out in flames for reasons they do not understand. It is difficult to know just how painful a relationship breakup can be until it happens in one’s own life. Sadness, Intense feelings and despair are a common reaction to the end of a relationship. Psychological research shows that the emotional response to the breakup of a romantic relationship strongly resembles reactions to what would appear to be more traumatic losses, like the death of a loved one.

The following are major emotional phases to expect in the loss of a romantic relationship.

Shock :- It will be very difficult to believe and admit that the relationship is ending or has ended. It is painful to accept a loved and trusted partner seeming to care so little about the relationship and your feelings.

Grief and Despair :- It is normal to feel sad and lonely, and to cry too. You may feel an intense need at times to make contact with your ex-partner. Particular times during the day, such as sleeping alone, waking up in the morning, or been in places you ought to have been together alone may be especially difficult.

Confusion :- Life may feel strange or incomplete without your significant other, you might desperately miss what is gone and wish things could go back to the way they were, you might question who you are, and the meaning of life without your partner.

Fear :- It may be frightening and difficult to imagine life without the significant other. You may fear that you will never see a person like him or her again, find love or be happy again without the person.

Jealousy : - You may experience jealousy or worry about your partner supposedly being with someone else.

Anger and Bitterness : - Anger with a partner who has caused pain by initiating or contributing to the breakup is a common emotional response and feeling of betraying the trust in which you both shared.

Self-blame and Guilt :- If you initiated the breakup, you may feel guilty about causing pain to your partner. You may be worried over what has caused the breakup, and may attempt to “bargain” with an ex-partner to give the relationship another chance.

Relief : -You heave a sigh of relief from negative feelings associated with the relationship that resulted from arguments, fighting, jealousy, stress, insecurity, or boredom.

What to do:-

It is true that there is no way around feeling emotional pain after a relationship breakup. Your feelings reflect the importance of your partner in your life, as well as your own ability to allow yourself to be intimate and close with an important other. What really matter is how far can one cope when the line is drawn? “Its over,”

Here are some hints in getting over it completely:-

*Make out time to get yourself back together on a level footing-Remember life isn’t bed of roses, you win some, you lose some and always bear it in mind that what will be your, will be yours.

*Make changes in your life and express yourself creatively. Develop new interests, activities and relationships in your life separate from your ex-partner. Redecorate or paint your living space. Focus on doing things that reflect your unique nature, and that are a not reminder of your ex-partner. Plan new events with friends or family on holidays or anniversary dates of the relationship. Engage in activities that help you recover a sense of meaning and balance, such as religious/spiritual practice, art, poetry or music.

*Seek support from friends and family. Social support is one of the most important factors in coping with a loss. Reach out to people who care and who will listen to your feelings and provide encouragement. Spending time with others may be difficult at first, but will help you to realize that there are other people in your life who care about you and are there to support you.

*Don’t rush head-on unto another relationship when you’ve barely gotten over the last-Remember you don’t have to try every dick and harry before you know the right one for you.

*Don’t over expect things on a first, enjoy it for what it is “A Date” and nothing more and bear in mind that if you expect everything to be romantic and perfect immediately, you might just be building a castle in the air. Remember love is not what you get off-handed on a plate.

*Meet as many people as possible, so you can make your judgment and choose wisely this time-Dear he/she might just be around the corner. But take it gradually.

*Don’t go to far quickly, you re bound to be disappointed again. Free your mind and take your time in finding love again.

*Though you might need a relationship badly but don’t compromise yourself and get yourself to be used and dump again-Remember it is better to be alone than being in a bad relationship.

*Be ready for commitment, The love that we all want from a spouse is not possible without both having the commitment to try to make it work

*Lastly, make a wise choice, for the fact that he throws money here and there, dashing, tall, beautiful or he or she is your dream mate doesn’t mean he or she is the one. Remember, material things, physical attributes may soon fade out, then the truly color will emerge and you will be disappointed again.

If all these could adhered to, you could find love again, though love could be dangerous at times but every wonderful for those who have find the courage in finding eternal love but if it’s not respected, it could be your worst enemy. Few relationships fail because they are built too fast. Take your time, converse and communicate. View your partner as a person, not just as an object that makes you feel good. Have this in mind you know If you want fast food, you will get it cheap and instant and in a paper box. If you want a feast, you take your time to prepare it lovingly and slowly, Make this last a long time. I wish you the best.

Are you Beautiful?

aHow beautiful are u???....Do u look in the mirror and see a beautiful person or hate yourself?

Letter to PHCN

September 15, 2008
The Area Manager,

Dear Sir,
I am writing to you with a deep sense of humility and gentleness. I consider this a great opportunity to communicate with an entity as awe-inspiring as yourself. Firstly, I bring greetings to you from residents of my area in Lagos .

As a dutiful citizen, I consider this letter as part of my civic responsibilities. Great countries comprise of citizens who are alive to their responsibilities. As a famous musician once said, "Ask not what your country can eat from you but what you can eat from your country."

I have benefited immensely from this country; therefore I have decided to give back.

I want to bring to your notice some strange occurrences which have been happening in my area. I want to sadly inform you that in the last 2 weeks, electricity has been stable. In other words, we sleep and wake up with electricity, we go to work and come back and electricity is still running. This is a terribly new and I must add DANGEROUS development in the lives of residents of my area. This is something we are not used to. This is too much electricity for us to handle. In the first week of constant electricity, I started acting strangely. I ironed all my clothes because I didn't know when "light" will be impounded on your orders. After 2 days, the "light" was still there. Therefore, I proceeded to re-iron the ironed clothes. My fridge which had not seen "4 hours" of constant light for months suddenly started freezing. In order to enjoy the maximum effects of refrigeration, I have decided to be drinking 20 cups of cold water before I go to sleep. Once I finish a cup, I put the bottle back into the fridge. After 10 minutes, the water cools and I drink. I just don't know what to do. All the Ceiling fans in my house have been switched on alongside my AC. My deck is playing at a high level. My life is now in state of chaos because of constant "light". My TV and VCD player are complaining of high blood pressure, as they have been terribly overworked in the last few weeks. Half of my light bulbs have gone on strike to protest their resurrection from blissful death.

All the customers in the beer parlour beside my house are complaining that the beer is too cold and wants to destroy their teeth. Even the rats and cockroaches are complaining that human assailants find it easier to track and exterminate them under electric light than under candlelight.

All the witches and wizards that regularly visited me in my sleep have suddenly taken flight in the presence of "light". Now I have to review my membership of MFM ( Mountain of Fire and Miracles) since their work has been done. Can you imagine what will happen to the membership of churches if constant 'light' persists? No more demons meaning No more offerings.

With the above situation not abating, I decided to seek the reason behind this strange situation. This task was made easy for me when I realised that it was the work of saboteurs. Sabotage is the main reason for anything going wrong / right in our country. Our elections were sabotaged, our president's health is being sabotaged, Obama's chances of becoming the American President are being sabotaged by Nigerians. Therefore this constant "light" is the handiwork of saboteurs within your work system. These disgruntled individuals are enemies of progress who want you miss your set targets. These enemies want you to score very low on your KPI assessment. I realised this fact when I stumbled on a document showing your Key Performance Indicators for every month. These are:

1. Explosive growth in the amount of Candle-lit dinners and balcony-bedrooms

2. Massive boom in the sales of Candles, torchlight, generators, inverters and lanterns

3. Increased work place productivity due to Employees spending at least 16 hours at work because there is no light at home

4. Massive growth of Rock music fan clubs being aided by the endless sound of generators that are switched on overnight.

5. Volume of human blood being sucked by mosquitoes unchallenged by ceiling/standing fans

6. Incidence of heat rashes

7. Large Increase in Naming ceremonies: When people have no light at home, what else do they do with their time other than *******?

Sir, I strongly feel that the above achievements will not be possible if we keep on having "light". The saboteurs in your workplace will make you look stupid and incapable in front of your bosses. The repercussions of this charade would be unbearable. This is why I am writing to you now. As a responsible citizen, if I do not volunteer this information, I know that I will be the one to suffer. The day you realise that I have been enjoying endless light for 2 weeks, you will pay me back with 2 black months. The end will be worse than the beginning, thereof. I am at a crossroad. This is a major dilemma. Should I keep quiet? No I won't. This is because Evil triumphs when Good Men keep silent. Your incompetent staffs have left the light switch on and gone to sleep. I know you will take back all that we have stolen from you but Please remember my house in the day of recompense.

Your humble servant


True Love!!!

Maybe yes, perhaps not! Behold

If you are wealthy and there I come, saying am truly in luv with you, may be am truly in luv with your fat wallets

If you are dashing, handsome and I say am truly in luv with you, perhaps I'm truly charmed with ur charming look.

If you are a genius and I say am truly in luv with you, I might just as well mean that am truly in luv with your ingenuity.

If you are young, ambitious, well focused and purposeful and I say am truly in luv with you, maybe am in luv with your fame."

Is there really an unconditional love? Maybe yes, perhaps not...
But what is really true love???

Telephone: (+234)-1-18752680 Ymessenger: Spicytee69


I'm a writer, photographer, Graphics artist and a hustler. Lets just say I'm a go- getter. Personality wise, I'm warm, wise and smart with a large heart, classy, smart and very creative.


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