7 Tips to Maintaining A New Relationship

By Spicytee Taiwo Orimadegun

Starting a new relationship make you feel new, happy, tense and optimistic all together. We are haunted by fear and insecurity if is ever going to work our or if we are good enough. Sometimes we let our imperfections get in the way. We ask ourselves myriads of questions. Is he going to like my bulging stomach, when I'm naked or complains that I snore or eat too much. But who says your new boyfriend doesn't have his own?

New relationship actually involves more than the uproar of yes I've got her now. I found him at last. It entails some things that we often neglect. Here are some tips to help you on a level footing in your new relationship.

1. Be friends first and Spend time together.

Friendship is a good thing to build a relationship on, once you have a good foundation, you build on it. New relationship need time to grow. You need to spend time together to analyze yourself and determine if truly you want to be together. Sometimes we need to know where the relationship is heading, but just spending quality time together.

2. Be sure to have good communication.

For a relationship to survive it must have a solid foundation and how do we achieve that. Communication? Tell them things about you; reveal new things about you that you know your partner will love as you get along. This way gets to know and understand each other.

3. Be comfortable and natural with you.

Don't try to be what you are not, don’t pretend to be nicer, and don’t pretend to like things he /she like. Don’t encourage tag-along. You should do things together that are both pleasing to both parties, not forcing them to like what you enjoy. Do have your own opinion about things when you want. Also don't spend too much money or be too critical. Just be you. Let your partner see the real you. And a candid advice to the ladies- Well make ups is nice but don't let tones of make up define who you are. try being natural once in a while. Your guy will not only see a new side of you, he will love you for just being you.

3. Carry on with your Life.

Meeting someone new does not necessarily say, you should not continue being yourself. Many of us are guilty of this. When we find new love, we neglect our friends, family, just because we want to spend quality time with our partner. And this is bad. For your relationship to survive you have to balance everything. Continue doing what you do before she or he tagged along. You need to show him/her that you are independent and remember you must be happy with yourself first, be confident.

4. Bring up issues you don't like.

Believe me, most of the things that often lead to break ups or arguments are things we have seen in the early stage of the relationship but we seldom raise because we are afraid to tell our partner or you consider them trivial. However these patterns build up over the time. So I advice you say your mind because if it happens repeatedly and you continue to keep mute, he/she will continue the behavioural pattern... But you can change it now, just be courteous and gentle in the manner you bring it out.

5. Respect

Respect each other’s time and privacy. Give him your attention, give him air to breath. But maintain your cool and don't be too clingy. Don't be overtly jealous. Is sometimes a turn off. If begin to get unnecessarily possessive, that's a relationship killer. Find things to occupy your mind and take things easy. Simply give your relationship the proper space it needs to grow.

6. Share Same Interest.

And having similar goals and dreams will also help you guys to grow. Be genuinely curious about what make your partner tick and happy and tap into whatever makes you complete with him. This will not alone help in cementing your relationship. It bring you closer to each other.

7. Be adventurous.

Variety does not mean another guy or girl. Have fun with each other while you are still dating and more when you take it further with romance and making love. Tell your partner what you like sexually. Be direct, yet gentle. It helps both of you to understand how your body works and what makes you happy and satisfy.I hope you find this helpful. Till next time. Keep smiling and loving.

It's time to get your bling on...

Excuse while 'eye' bling...
Bling is a new age name given to 'big' fashionable sparkles. It originally referred to Diamonds and Diamond encrusted fashion items. Over the years, bling has been accepted as standard nomenclature for accessories made from other precious stones, including Sapphires, Rubies, Swarosvski Crystals and more.

Hip hop influenced the Bling craze heavily when rappers, who, upon gaining celebrity status, displayed their fashion tastes, style sense and success with heavy gold chains/medallions and diamond encrusted jewelry. Though they put bling to some creative use, some of what they do with it border on the outrageous; I do not think I would want to wear jewelry on my teeth.

Bling has found it's way into student's list of fashion items. These days, "you ain't got style if you don't wear bling." They rock it as earrings, bracelets, hair accessories, neck-chains, pendants, belts, rings, watches big enough to be wall clocks, etc. Bling is so much desired that some spend all their pocket money to get it. Those who can't afford the real thing make do with some very cheap and low grade jewelry just to 'get their shine on.'

Phone and Footwear bling by If-Raim

The Bling-Bling revolution has tremendously changed our fashion sense while influencing our street style too. The bling craze has become a hot fashion trend and people have been absolutely taken by the whole trend that they use it anywhere and everywhere. Bling has come to signify uniqueness in style and individual expression. Bling provide a modern and funky look. Anyway you look at it, its your style.

*'if-Raim' is a London based Fashion company with it's own fashion brands. The company also runs it's own fashion consulting firm that deals in Personal styling and Personal shopping services. Most related to the topic of Bling is a service rendered which is a range of Customized Fashion brand ranging from Jewelry, to Clothing, Footwear to Accessories all beautifully and creatively encrusted with Swarovski Crystals. The good news is if-R-aim is coming to your's truly "Nigeria" this very year! So for all the bling loving fashionistas out there, WATCH THIS SPACE!

11 Reasons He Dumped You

I was flipping through a Women's Health recently (I admit it), and I noticed an interesting poll. Women cited the following as the most common breakup reasons:

* He changed
* We weren't compatible
* He cheated on me

When I was little, it drove me crazy when my parents supported "no" with "because I said so." I always wanted a reason. I'm not sure if knowing why always helps, but perhaps if you know common reasons guys break up with girls, you'll at least be able to see it coming. So, here are mine:

I Got Bored: I've read many different hypotheses on attention span, but my favorite is (Wikipedia):

"Continuous attention span, or the amount of time a human can focus on an object without any lapse at all, is very brief and may be as short as 8 seconds. After this amount of time, it is likely that an individual's eyes will shift focus, or that a stray thought will briefly enter consciousness."

My attention span (unless it's a football game or a song) may be worse. I know a relationship is not supposed to be exciting all the time, so getting through those flatline moments between the sparks is critical. If I start having more fun with other activities, the relationship is doomed.

One of Us Was Too Serious: This could be as simple as she wanted to see me three times a week, and I only wanted to see her once a week. If she's flirting with other guys, flighty, or not as into it as I am, then I'm too serious for her.

Burnout: I'm a big believer in pacing and rhythm in dating. A relationship can suffer burnout if certain milestones occur too fast: Being exclusive, sex, meeting parents. When that happens, I get that feeling the colonists must have gotten after they won the Revolutionary War: "Ok, we did it...so now what?"

I Was Tempted To Cheat: I do my best not to cheat, so when I have recurring urges to cheat on my girlfriend, I figure it's time to break up with her. I don't need to go through with cheating; the constant urge is enough for me to end things.

All My Friends Broke Up With Their Girlfriends: This is by far the most immature reason on this list. While my girlfriend and I are curled up on the couch watching "The Devil Wears Prada," my newly single guy friends are out shredding the karaoke waves with Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" and tearing up the town. That conflict gives me wanderlust. It's much easier when we are all in for a quiet Saturday night with the significant others.

Divergent Lives: If someone moves to another town, or work is taking over, or other life changes are driving you apart, sometimes it's best to end it.

Feeling Selfish: Dating is selfless because you're giving your time and yourself up to a relationship. "Me time" is necessary at some point to work on career/living situation, travel, or whatever. When I'm in a "selfish period," it's tough to participate in a relationship.

I "Misread" My Feelings: This is the most unfair of all the reasons. Both genders make this mistake—you get into a relationship and everything seems so great. Then, a few weeks later, you realize you got wrapped up in something for the wrong reason, dated for the sake of dating, or whatever, and you need to get out.

My Friends Or Family Didn't Like Her: I pay close attention to friend/family opinions because they know me best, and they've earned the right to have their say. Also, friends and family may be able to see things inside the relationship that I'm too blinded to see.

I Took Her For Granted: Great relationships should be easy, but there has to be some tension too—especially in the beginning. If it's too easy, there's a lack of challenge. If I feel like I could have her heart any time any place, sometimes I'll let her go. This almost always ends up coming back to haunt me later, though. I never learn.

She Was Too Negative: All too often, I end up with the brooding, depressed, uptight type who is constantly complaining. I don't expect someone to be happy all the time, but if she makes me unhappy every time I see her, why stay with her?

What reasons have guys used to break up with you, and which make you most angry? What reasons have caused you to break up with guys? Which reasons do you think are the most common cause of breakups- do they differ for guys and women?

PS: I saw this on Shine.Yahoo By Rich Santos and Marie Claire.

PSS: Image by http://carnivalofidiots.blogspot.com

This is a good read. Let me know what you guys think?

Female Abuser

He is a great provider, he makes sure you don't lack anything, he is great in bed and the kind of man you love. But he is abusive towards female.. Will u go ahead and still married him..