I want to burn my running shoes...

I have been running, yes but it wasn't intentionally, I was just scared. I'm scared of trying and failing again. I'm scared of empty promises that only bring anguish in the end. I'm scared of falling in love again and have it thrown back at me. But I really cant help thinking if I've been fair to those seeking my hands in relationship.


If I've been fair to Mr.A, who is arrogant, aggresive and doesn't respect a women.

Mr B. is just terrible bad player..I cant even touch him with a a ten-foot pole

Mr C, very single but he is not ready for commitment.

Mr D, is a doubting thomas, and he lacks confidence,he is not so sure, if he can cope with me,cos I'm just too learned,a carrier woman and just too strong as a woman and he is scared-I dont know how that is a crime.

Mr.E,he is the explorer, I cant promise you anything, but lets see what will happen as time goes on..Whatever that means, But while watching as times goes, my brother want sex oh..I guess we are seeing what will happen on that too.

Mr. F.. is funny, witty, but took me for granted, I like you, I want to be with you but he still want to date some other women and I need to understand that.(Hissed). And me I must be a man's number one priority and must have my dully respect.

Mr.G,who has a girlfriend, and he is attracted to me and he cant seems to get over me.

Mr.H,think is hot and I must jump into bed,with his sugar coated mouth and lousy open lines that men are attracted by your look or body and is when they feel the content that they will know,if they want to keep you- Crap, though attraction is important

Mr.I is very much insecure and think that I have too many male friends than females and he is scared.

Mr.J is a complete jerk, I wouldn't even want to ask myself what I'm doing with him.

Mr.K, think the key to dating a woman is to be domineering,if I must date, you have do what I want, you'll change ur phone numbers,email etc.

Mr.L, is a loser who doesnt know what he want

Mr.M, is a silly mummy's pet, my mum is dis..my mum is that. Aaaahhhhhhhhh

Mr.N is I just want company and NO string attached

Mr.O, is just overbearing

Mr.P,who is proud of himself and feel that life must rotates around him alone.

Mr.Q, is quick temper and is nasty for my liking

Mr.R is romantic,suave, and we connected together only to date for some months and his girlfriend suddenly come back out of no where. 

Mr.S,who I have knew for almost three years, and he has never even tell me what he really want from me...But anytime we meet,always make move for sex.

Mr.T,behave like a Teenager, just not mature for to be a man in my book,he is always afraid of me(as if I carry fire on my head). Everytime "I dont want you to be angry, I dont want to displease you).

Mr.U, want me to Understand he likes me, but he just want an acquitance.

Mr.V,is so far away, but want virtual relationship,God knows whether we'll ever meet.

Mr.W, is married and want somewhere where he's going to sow his WILD OATS

Mr.X, is eXremely cool but love switching off and on at will

Mr.Y, is your dream kind of guy but he like women like mad. and want you to understand,you are the only one.

Mr.Z's zeal for us to get marry as soon as possible,send me the creep.. I wonder what he knows about me to wanna do that.

Just where in the world,would I start from,I really wish I knew the way to a man's mind,It could help me in determining which of them is a sheep in wolves's skin.

And time is ticking, I watch has days turns into weeks and weeks into months and month dragged into... Yet nothing has been close enough to it for me.

So I kept on pondering if the problem is from me but I cant pin point,what it might be. Am I demanding too much? Thats a big NO. All I just want is love considerably.I always want to be the number one priority in a man's life and most of the time I ask myself if I have been fair with my expectation.

Am I too choosy?Many of my friend says that am too choosy but how will they have known? One of them said is because am pretty and working in abank(And so what?)that I wont settle for less. But he was far far wrong. I've dated a guy before who doesnt have a car and still stays with his parents.Because I like him,he is all I want in a guy but the snag is...He has a girlfriend before.Where am I getting at here.. I'm that kind of person who just want to date a guy because am comfortable with him and not what he is. All I just want is someone that will always be there. Not all women are gold diggers, there are other ways you can take care of your woman other than being financialy bouyant enough. There are women who doesnt give a hoot if you have a job or not, they just want a man who care and who is attentive to her needs.

Yes every women hold the believes of finding a good looking guy, witty, working class,gentle,madly in love with her etc, though we understand that is in the perfect world, in reality check is very rare to find such men. So we all make do with whatever we can get.
But I dont see why we cant be happy as much as we want, be love as we want to be loved, receive as much as we give.

We crave for a perfect boyfriend who actually wants to commit and have a long term relationship. But most men want the opposite, most men want to have sex, flings with a girl first before they even date her.Is so annoying that they only see us as a casual dating partner,how come their is no future in it for us?
I told one of my toasters one day that, come, I have known you for almost three years and since that time,we've both been single, how come things never work out between us? He said that I'm the cause,that I probably dont like him.

But I do like him, I just don't buy the way he wanted to go about the relationship,everytime he pressured for sex, ofcourse the answer is no!). This guy and I, have not really sat down one on one to talk about if we really wanted to date eachother.

Every guy want to have a taste of the pudding first before anything serious can come out.
My question is, is sex the yardstick for starting a relationship?
As for me.. I would have love to burn my running shoes here and now but I'll still be running till I can get a man without an attitude to motivate me in burning them.

43 Browser(s):

Buttercup said...

1ssssssssssssssssssssssst!

off to read

Buttercup said...

i've learned never to settle for less but at the same time be flexible..how those two extremes work out, i dunno..i guess it takes the grace of God..

mike said...

i guess this goes to show that there can never be Mr. Perect. All you have to do is understand your intended spouse for movement of relationship. Give love a chance, you will definitely see a good one. Jah Bless

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

first time here. Best of luck on the whole running thing.

Buttercup, so you don reach hyah, u no tell me say new blogger dey for town. Make I catch you.

Buttercup said...

lol aunty SSD, abeg no vex..

musco said...

1st time here 2!

don't u think u shld cut down on d list b4 u jump to conclusions?

there's always d perfect partner 4 all of us.

nice blog!

StandTall-The Activist said...

let me borrow Buttercup's word "never settle for less" no matter what.

I wont say you are chosy, you sure know this is your life and future you are talking about. Dont let age make you settle for less.

It might not happen sooner but no matter how late, settle for the best.

Good luck

Afronuts said...

Nna men!
babygirl this is serious oh!

We need to fast and pray for 40 days for you...how come it is all the wierd guys that are pursuing you for a relationship?
fine chick like you?

Spicytee said...

@Buttercup.. the two extremes do work out, we all need to compromise in other to be happy sometimes..

@ Mike..There can never be a perfect man.. And I'm open as a book..I'm not afraid to love again.

@SSD..Thx 4 d love..I've been to ur crip..I'm loving ur home..I'm on ur story...

@ musco..I know..Thx

Spicytee said...

@ Standtall..thx sis...I must ave the best.. Age is nutin but a number..

@ Afronut..no mind all d guys jare.. I know what to do wt 'em..
Oya lets begin d fasting oh..

Arewa said...

i've learnt that you have to know what you want to be able to get it. i wrote down a list of what i needed in a man and decided to at least consider anyone that fit 70% and up... there's no perfect man, but compatibility is key... nice blog!

http://musingsofanaijagirl.blogspot.com/

Emeka Nwani said...

good note Taiwo dear.

Bakare Odunayo said...

nice note, but i dont tink evry guy blvs in sex b4 relationship.well it all depends on hw u guys started sha...................

Funmilayo Adaja said...

whoa this goes to all the SINGLE LADIES out there.
trust me GF almost all the SL are in your shoes.
Men are so hard to please and even when you succum to their pressure for SEX its not a garanty that all is well.
we SL have to be calm,carefull,calculatig and most importantly put God first.
the men in this part of the world as made sex a yardstick but i think its a wrong way to start a seroius relationship......

David Adeyemi said...

@Funmilayo...who tell u dat the major ''thing'' men want/need?
Go N do u research very well please....

Afrobabe Blogs said...

You seem to have dragged this from the story of my life..

let's not forget Mr not really divorced but almost there and Mr has 2 kids from 2 women and married none...oh then there is Mr can I move in with you for sometime? then there is Mr I just need a nigerian cook or Mr just look good and shut up...Well maybe you didnt include them cos they are all here with ME!!!

Olalekan Teibo said...

Taiwo u said it all, but it also goes same to the ladies too...they blow hot and cold at will, not as if I am saying tht all guys are innocent oh....

Olajiga Oyinade said...

On your track! lol

Buhle Mncube said...

This is very interesting girl...partly funny, cause i can roughly estimate your age by this note. Is this YOU or fiction? Which woman in their right mind would want to be committed to a guy who DOES not WORK???? Remember the song...."you have to have a J.O.B if you want be with me". Baby girl, let me tell you this....no amount of love will ever pay the mortgage. Let's say you meet a guy who doesn't (understandable if it's the recession, un-understandable if he's just a lazy bum....but whichever way, he's NOT working, yeah! Then he asks for your hand in marriage...who's marrying who here? Aren't you marrying yourself? Fast forward two years......2 kids, a car & a mortgage on YOU! Now tell me, why on earth would you take a man who is useless and pay him to frustrate you, sex you, beat you, abuse you in every way when you have a choice to live alone happily or better still adopt a child and give him/her a future with less effort.

Derrick Njos said...

Since Mr F is missing,suffice it to say Mr F is ur Mr Right.It is a good composition, perhaps an academic exercise, but readers shldnt believer everything. The solution is 'baby, reduce your minimum requirement and u shall meet him' for there is not perfect being'. Even if there is, can u meet his perfectionism?

Buhle Mncube said...

the basic rules to live stress-free:
1. Teach people how to treat you. 2. Have boundaries not only in relationships but in every aspect of your life. 3. Spell your expectations loud and clear from day 1. If you have plans to get married and meet somebody who says they don't believe in marriage, why waste your time trying to convince him to fall into your trap?
4. Don't assume that every relationship is forever. We meet people for a reason, a season or a lifetime. If it fails, deal with it, glue the pieces together and move on. Don't forget to take your lessons.
5. Fall in love and love madly but don't make promises to love for eternity. Let him know that you will love him for as long as he loves you. 7. Don't try to raise the dead when it finishes, let go & take your fare of blame. It's a two way street, you either contributed or contaminated ur relationship. 7. Do compromise and be flexible to bend without breaking. 8. Have fun & love urself in the process..

Vera Ezimora said...

I can definitely relate to most of these - sadly. God will help us all.

Bashorun Thorpeh said...

Hmmmmm TAIWO good one, it really matches with me and i will make use of this.....

WeWe Clthng said...

Not all men are the way they are being portrayed. You may have to kiss several frogs before you find your prince. May be you should stop looking, when you do, the right man will find you. Don't stress yourself out. Your time will come when it's right.



Buhle Mncube at 9:36pm February 3
girls...girls...girls...what are doing wrong hunnies? Men are the simplest creatures but you have to learn to think like them so to beat them at their own game. you must be doing shomething wrong shomewhere....lol

Tokunboh Olateru-Olagbegi said...

Saw myself in a couple of the "Alphabets" ..........................terrible

Knock Oout said...

Buhle...your man must be an open book then. If you can beat him at his own game.Doesnt mean you can beat every other men. Becareful sweety...

Buhle Mncube said...

Knock Oout...all men are the same, the only the difference is their height and weight....*cough* ;-) In simple Engllish, I mean SIZE! Pity I can't prove my research with you cos you are will spoil the findings but to all the ladies...if you need tips....inbox me, I only charge a discounted price to loyal friends....hahahaha.
But honestly, you must be doing something wrong somewhere! These CREATURES are soooooooo easy, beleive me! You just have to think like them but act like a woman so to confuse them....they fancy you more when they are in a state of confusion (it's like a cocaine to drug addicts). they don't like an 'open book', so don't be readable! Trust me!!....Enough, don't want to give out too much, they might decide to change the strategy...LOL

Knock Oout said...

Thanks Buhle...you already gave out some tips needed. And am definitely gonna use it..Lol. If you care to know, Am Orimadegun Shakeerat Taiwo's twin brother. Word and Opposite right?? Lol

Steven Chinonso said...

Buhle...........u just dey run ur mouth.

Orimadegun Shakeerat Taiwo(Spicytee) said...

@ Derrick.. I must have missed Mr. F..But he is...
Mr. F.. is funny, witty, but took me for granted, I like you, I want to be with you but he still want to date some other women and I need to understand that.(Hissed). And me I must be a man's number one priority and must have my dully respect.

Orimadegun Shakeerat Taiwo(Spicytee) said...

@ Derrick.. I must have missed Mr. F..But he is...
Mr. F.. is funny, witty, but took me for granted, I like you, I want to be with you but he still want to date some other women and I need to understand that.(Hissed). And me I must be a man's number one priority and must have my dully respect.

Buhle Mncube said...

Knock Oout (I bet your dad didn't give you this name...nice to meet you anyhow). Now i have my little FB family, I wonder how Taiwo is coping with a naughty twin brother like you:-) Add me if you want me to be your big sis...then I can straighten your dogdy ways...hahaha

@ Steven...i love you too sweetpea xxx...lol

Douglas Buchi said...

Touching and interesting at the same time.Well,to my mind i think you should first rediscover yourself and decide on the kind of man you really want.And when he comes calling,prove to him that his decision to come to you is the best he has ever made.Needless to tell you how to go about doing that because i belief you are a woman.
Most importantly,i must warn that you are making yourself more vulnerable by this kind of writing,and exposing yourself to more dangers.

Orimadegun Shakeerat Taiwo(Spicytee) said...

See guys this isn't just about me...
Is what almost every woman out there are facing in every day of their lives and in their relationship.

I just put my self in every woman's shoes. Though I've experienced some guy within the alphabets..

I just want everyone to learn one ot two points from my points of views...Guys to be more civil with their approach to the women and women to always be assetive and only go what want.Thx....
@ Bakare..Lets us know o
@ Buhle..is not about what women do wrong,is about what men have the mind going for.. You can never predict even the most sweetess guy could be ur worst nightmare just like we women are too..And just leave my twin alone..Dont teach him nonsense.
@ Buchi..I cant be vulnerable..I don't have any problems identifying the kind of man I want.
@ Afro..thx for the addiction
@ Derrick.. No one 's perfect...And their is absolutely no requirement that can never be bend when a woman meet a man she likes.
@ Vera I say a big amen to dat.

Buhle Mncube said...

LOL...the real witch is coming out now...let's run;-) I will take care of your twin brother very well, before you know he'll be a GRADUATE...hahaha
But let's be real girl...WHAT do YOU want? I don't disagree with this note, it's true, it's brilliant and i can bet that every normal woman can relate. trouble is, you are finding in most of them...all the bad/negative things about them. Re write your list and name all the things you want in a man..and put just as many points about what YOU are willing to give in return...your luck will change beleive me. I have met almost all the types u have listed as friends, as exes, colleugues, family etc, but one thing i always do is to find the good in a person. If a man for example is too big headed & thinks too much of himself bt his other side is so kind, giving & kind but trying to hide that with say arrogancy, then stick to the good. Dwell on it until he gets it.

Ijeoma Aniebo said...

Taiwo u did it again girl. i see so many of ex's in there. Here's how i solved mine. I burnt my running shoes, stood right in the middle of the road and let him catch me, and he did. Thats the trick, if we're all as strong as we claim to be, we'll live thru the fall (if there is one). This advice is not for the faint-hearted but if ur too scared dont try this at home. Ladies u gotta be prepared to give 50% if u expect the same. New era, new times, dont let him do all the work. Mark my words if we dont grow old and grey, at least i'd have known what crazy in love and absolutely happy felt like and that will be more than enough. Dont let pride and gender differentiation rob u off what u truly want!!! Ce finie

Orimadegun Shakeerat Taiwo(spicytee) said...

Yes dats d spirit galfy..
I love ur points.

Steven Chinonso said...

Ijeoma God bless you............u suckboth breast of ur mama.
No mind Buhle...........she thinks say guys get manual.
Keep it coming am learning.

Pamela Stitch said...

Sadly, these days - sex is the yardstick.

David Adeyemi said...

no.....i dont believe dat

Faith Ogah said...

T-gal, u make me proud anytime! Guys are not manuals, u dnt operate them! it takes wisdom to decipher their true intents! For everyone lady out there who still has her running shoes, wake and brace up like Ijeoma said! there,s just dis one life 2 live, but live it well

Obi Eze said...

Good thing you ran out of alphabets....we would have been here all day....

Orimadegun Shakeerat Taiwo(Spicytee) said...

LOL @ Eze..
But if u can tell d person that invented the Alphabet to add more..I might have more too

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