What makes Modern Marriage Ticks?

Marriage is an aged institution which make people run home after the day’s hard work into the open arms of their spouse. Or it’s a caring, loving and sharing relationship that helps people’s lives as individuals leading them to a stable starting point to explore their ambition, inspiration and personalities or an institution that has been tailored for human being. It’s something human beings have invented as some kind of emergency solution. Some people think differently though. Their are people who believe that marriage is a way of life and is a necessary as many other things people engage themselves to in life. .

And if on the other hand, one believes that marriage isn't exactly an ideal institution, but is merely the best solution we happen to have at the moment to loneliness, then we should realize that one should not really expect so much in marriage, their are more to marriages than giving up one's loneliness and status or even change in a name or what u see that every one in the community are doing at the moment.

Their are others who just feel that holy wedlock is a sort of cupboard in which two people can be locked up. Both are dangerous attitudes, because they may result in people expecting too much of that marriage - and doing a little about it themselves...

So if you hold this belief to marriage ..you should expect that the cupboard will start creaking at the joint as soon as its cemented if u did not get your priority right. The cupboard may last just a bit longer if both couples knows what they want and have a mutual way in analyzing issues that make them comfortable and otherwise.

And couples do need to make an efforts to some certain things in relationship towards marriages before they consummate the affair at all. So as to make the cupboard endurable, it is the job of both husband and wife, with both being able to compromise and adjust to whatever make them feel uneasy in their marriage.

Couples who established their own strategies are the ones, who work things out together, and who says “how many children they are going to have or how are we going raise them”? and “Are we going to have a joint account and who is going to be in charge of it?”, just to have a better chance of survival.

People avoid confronting issues that makes them uncomfortable, but successful couples are not afraid to say “Look, something is wrong here”. Women especially are far emotionally stronger this days in coming out to say “I really don’t feel I can continue like these; It doesn't’t satisfy me; Is not making me happy: have a better view of what’s happening in there marriage. But the question what makes the Modern marriage tick? Is extremely difficult, you can get the statistics of marriages that have survived but you can’t tell if they have been happy or not. But u cant get the statistics of broken marriage because many fell down the drain as soon as a problem trigger off. Couples these days opt out rather than facing the whatsoever bothering them together forgetting their vow “For better or worse, till death do us part”

Why Marriages Fail

Not all marriages fail for the same reason. Nor is there usually one reason for the breakdown of a particular marriage. Nevertheless, we hear some reasons more often than others.

They are:-

*Lack of couple’s marital obligation and satisfaction.*Sexual, emotional or physical abuse

*Not listening or not being attentive to spouse

*Adultery *Poor communication

*Nagging *Financial problems

*A lack of commitment to the marriage *Bigamy

*Being dishonest *Not respecting your spouse

*A dramatic change in priorities *Cruel treatment

*Unable to provide children *Infidelity

*Being selfish *Lack Of conflict solution skills

*Failed expectations *Lack of sexual intimacy


Today, its more difficult than ever to go into marriage with the assumption that it’s going to work out or otherwise. During our mother’s time, the rules were clearly established whether it was going to work out or not, either the couple are in love or not or are ready enough for marriage does not concern anyone. And that’s how it has been and which of course generates many stable marriages, which are rare to find now. Because when couples are willing to withstand any problem facing them. Some do this because of the children involved, especially Women, they stood still to take care of their children, when they know if they opted out, then another woman will take their place and whether or not, they still want to be the mother of their own children.

My mum always told me anytime I raised these topic about marriage that is because of the advancement of feminism that we continue to have this problem..According to her" In our days,once you are married, you cant dare go back home. And once there are kids involved, your mind is made up. You guys must have seen and feel what I have endured and still enduring now that you are all grown up (I'm from a polygamous family). But no matter how bad it is, once I remembered that I have got you guys to look out for, I forgot all that hurts as soon as it happened.We have limited options unlike now, where you can opt out and start living alone.In-dependency and Education is another factor and women are more bold to decide on their own but truly marriage involves lots of perseverance"

Although marriage must have its ups and downs and couples had to work hard to make their marriage a success. It is just like anyone else brave enough to embark on a journey and despite all these people, they still have reason for staying put in the marriage whether happy or not And marriage had continued to be a private relationship for people.

Though marriage has nothing to do with expediency and everything to do with love. And love has nothing to do with gain but everything to do with the loss of yourself in another’s person’s world because a happy marriage is not something you get offhandedly on a platter of gold. Its the result of give and take, for better or worse, compromise and a great things that the mind doesn't have going for it, it just happens. Because when a man or woman look for a wife or husband, it ought to be because he or she need someone who could enrich his or her life, bring him or her passion, joy and share his or her interest, dreams and ever after with.

So whatever reason that is making you stay put in your marriage. Stay on and stay blessed.

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Danny Bagucci said...

Everyone has perceptions that color the way they view life, including marriage... And if there have not been good role models of life and marriage that people can see, they tend to ad-lib as they go on.. possibly making massive mistakes on the way....

Dabizniz said...

Nice peace on marriage..
I think the key issue is knowing that the road is could be bumpy and having the resilience and God inspired guidance to make adjustments and compromises along the way.

Rightly so you need to understand yourself before you can understand what you can and can't live with.

Oluwashina Okeleji said...

Kai na wa ooo.........Naija marriage simply fails cos of several factors ranging from mental to spiritual problems from the couple. Many women get married thinking it is compulsory hence they fall in the hands of the wrong men, vice-versa.

Bikooo, better to be alone than in a bad matrimony.

Yets Lade Olayinka Adenubby said...

i agree with shina even with reading all yet...lol

Falegan Tomilola Enny said...

THANKS GIRLFRIEND.

GOOD WORK OF D MIND.
TO A VERY LARGE EXTENT U WERE RIGHT BUT DERE ARE MO TO D REASONS WWHY MARRIAGE FAILS ODA DAN D ONES U AV LISTED ABOVE.SOME OF WHICH INCLUDES
-FEARLESSNESS
-EDUCATION
-MISCONCEPTION
-PRIDE
-FRUSTRATION
-CIVILISATION SHOULD NOT BE UNDER ESTIMATE.



NEVERDLESS,NOT ALL BROKEN MARRIAGES ENDED UP BCOS OF ALL DESE,SOME DID BCOS IT JUST AV TO.BELIEVE ME ,AT TYMS WE DO THINGS WITHOUT REASONS.
ANYWHICH WAY,MAY WE NOT MIS-MARRY.
INSHA ALLAU
IN JESUS NAME.
AMEN

KEEP AT IT.

Sunshine Ola Sunshine said...

Lady T, I'm really feeling this, well done.

Folake said...

Being a prayerful and faithful family unit, patience and absolute love, respect and adornment for your partner.

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