Friends Are Important,What Kind of Friends Do You Have?

I've learned that all a person has in life is family and friends. If you lose those, you have nothing, so friends are to be treasured more than anything else in the world. -- Trey Parker and Matt Stone.


I was on my sick bed when the news got to me that their is a new comer in our class who is so arrogant ,proud and very pretty and everyone is planning a showdown for her. I took is all in as if I wasn't listening. I got well soon and I resumed back to classes and that’s when I saw her. She was tall and has a thin body that tapered down to straight long legs as well as a long jet black hair, what made me jealous about her was a moist eyes. I watched as she answered marathon of questions from Mr. Olatunji, our class teacher. Isn't she beautiful?. I muttered inwardly. She was very smart too and she hardly look like a new comer at all. She was very free.

The second day, she came up to me and asked if I was a newcomer. And I told her I was not and I asked why she want to know. She told me because she has been in the school for almost two weeks and has never seen me before, plus I was quite. Yes I was a quite girl. I don't talk in class, don't answer question except our class teacher call out my name. And whenever the bell rang for any of the breaks or back to my hostel. I just walked diligently. My hostel mates are so mean that I hardly cross their path. So I keep to myself all the time always and the junior ones look at me with inferior eyes because I was so gentle in fact very frail that when I asked them to do something for me is either with a tip or when I threatened to repost them to the house mistress where as my class mates would only call once and they will come running helter-skelter.

Days passed by and we became friends. I mean the newcomer and I. her name is Rakiyat, our friendship was so strong that my hostels mates became jealous and they started harassing me because I make friend with an enemy they loathed so much. But I was past caring. I ventured ahead with my friendship with her. And she helped me in a great way to overcome my fears.

Rakiyat was a nice girl, we became best of friends, we were like a unit, stronger, wittier and more attractively combined. We study together, play together, eat together etc. But after three years, we parted amidst tears.

On looking back on my life and what our friendship has impacted in me. I realized a lot of what she has instilled in me. Rakiyat thought me how to stand for myself, she counter my shyness and broke me out of my confining nature. I learn how to trust myself and whatever change am going through. And those time whenever I told her that someone is bullying me, harassing me or anything of the sort, she will take me to the person and made me fight my own battle. She taught me to be one step ahead and never to rely on anyone and urge me to handle my own problems in life with certain maturity. she made me a good student who stood up in class and answer questions in the class even if she stand to be corrected. She also thought me how to challenge myself as life is a learning curve.

Many years have passed; we exchanged gifts, letters and pictures. She sent hers too but thanks to Nipost, I never receive hers. And every now and then when I think of her, I tried to imagine what she's look like now. But all I have at my disposal is that jet black hair, long legs, moist eyes and I wonder would they still be the same? And I remembered her tear stained face as we parted 15 years ago.

I believed friends enclose us like a pair of parenthesis, each one of them knows us differently, each sustain us in a different ways. I am who I am because my friendship keep on growing and I pick my friend because of things we can share together. Values we can add to one anothers and not because of who they are. Though that's important too.

Why is it that we need friendship? To me friends are rare jewels, they make you smile and encourage you to succeed, they inspire you, lend a listening ear, they offers their shudders in time of need, they open their hearts willingly and selflessly. Though we have fair weather friends too, they are only there when things are rosy, immedietaly things are bad, they are no where to be found.
Here is to the nights that turned into mornings and the friends that turned into family. What kind of friends do you have?


PS: This is an old note that I published in a magazine wayback..Just love to share it here. I have since made contact with her and weive hooked up like twice. Anyway to all my friends, I love you all. You've all been great part of my life in your own unique ways.

Pss: I have a new phot blog; http://spicyinc.blogspot.com/ Check it out and let me know what you feel, comments, criticism and ideas are welcome. Thanks

Whats Wrong in Being Single-Ish???

No doubt, being in a loving relationship has its own mutual benefits. Someone there for you at all times, talk to you, laugh with you, feel their warmth at night, makes you feel loved, especially paying you attention , satisfies your sexual desires and compliments you in every way possible.

People always tend to think that being in a relationship make you feel normal. In fact society expects everyone to be in a relationship, and probably get married (before the age of 30) people still ask why you are still single? at a certain age. They portray it
as not been "normal.” But to each his or her own, being single does not mean one is lonely. It is by choice and circumstance in most cases. It’s either a state where we hope to meet the right person or just decide to be alone when the right person does not come alone. Some of us confuse loneliness with the act of being single. They are quite different. Loneliness can be depressing and painful, but being single can also is pleasant.

Although being single can be frustrating, most of the time, you sit down and wallow in self pity and ask yourself questions that you don't readily have answers to. Why me? Is there something about me? Who is really the perfect match for me? Will I ever get married? Where did I go wrong? Sometimes we even chastise ourselves. Have I missed my best opportunity with the last person that doesn't work out? Maybe I 'm too choosy. Maybe I have very high expectations.

Majority of us hate being single because a lot of things remind us how bad being single is. We always have our hopes high every year that it will be different. There is a lot of discrimination against single people everywhere. At the restaurant, hotels and especially at work, the singles are the most used employees. Married employees always have the reason to get away from work. (I've got to pick my wife at the airport, my wife is ill, my child's graduating tomorrow.

You don't even get to see your parents or spend special times with them. And to cap it all, every single move or conversation by a single person will raise eyebrows and everyone will be quick to remind you of
the fact that John is married and Vivian is engaged. Ade has two kids" just as soon they hear you talking to a married person.
The absolute truth is that you can never make a success of any relationship without being single for sometime. Being single allows us to have fun with ourselves and taking full responsibility of our actions, and motivating ourselves. It make us understand who we are, what we want, what we do, what and who we love and our expectations from the next relationship we hope to get into.

It empowers our minds, give a thought about our wants and grieve over past relationships gone sour. Being single allow us to be comfortable and being on our own for a while. Likewise, being single forces you to do things for yourself. There are many things you can enjoy while being single. Make new friends; go on dates, parties, travel and generally having a good time as best as you can. There are times too that you are in a relationship that you wish you are single too especially when you are in a bad relationship or marriage. When single, you can go out on dates with your girlfriend or boyfriends and have fun without worrying about a jealous lover. You can watch movies till late in the night, hang out with your girlfriend’s even wink to a guy of your fancy in the bar and you have no one to chastise you.

Nevertheless whatever reasons that is making you stay single, enjoy it and always remember that is better being alone than being in bad relationship.

PS: Adapted from my write-up for Lechic Fashion & Lifestyle Magazine
http://www.lechics.com/dating/dating.php
http://lechics.com/

Women-Battery..What do you have to say???

Marriage/relationship is not intended to be a prison but a base, a safe haven for commitment, contentment, consolation, and tranquility. If it turns out to be an arena for discontentment, abuse, strife, battery or depression then it is failing to fulfill its proper purpose.

The phenomenon of women-batter is an abuse of men who beat their women only because they are either drunk, brutal by nature or just in a bad temper.

Men who behave like tyrants in the home; who assert his rule in an arbitrary or violent manner, are usually the weak ones who are actually suffering from hidden inferiority complex and are afraid of being shown up a mentally or morally inferior to their wife and at times insecurity could lead to it too.

A man does not need to assert himself over his woman or be on the defensive against her to correct a wrong or mistake she might have made.

But men believe they could hold the right and obligation that is woman is created at their mercy and should be contented with whatever treatment they metes out to them as their whims and fancy dictates.

Think about it, this thing start from when they are young, they first start by slapping their girlfriend, pushing her around, then they hit you really bad. Yes we still love them. Sometimes is bad enough that you can't even leave them,walk away without them getting more brutal with you.

I have left a guy before because of this. And when he came calling to beg me. The feelings of what he has done to me before won't let me take me back. I remember the way he beat locked the door on me,beat me with a belt and pet me afterward and the aggressiveness began. The thought can never get out of my mind till today after five years. And this was because he was just insecure,he was afraid of losing me and only want to prove a point to me which was on the reverse case for me. But I digress,another topic,another day, in fact I'm writing a book on that.

Anyway, I believe their ways you can talk to your woman without getting violence. Though I know some men still knows how to get at their woman without beating her up, shouting on her or anything of that sort. But whatever men derives in beating women up,, I'm sure the end is not yet in sight for them. But the choice is for every woman to stand up and say NO to this abuse today.


PS: Thank you guys for your advice on my last post. You are all too gbasky...
I didn't do anything after all.. I didn't reply the babe nor discuss with the guy.
I will just left it slide. But I will never touch the guy with along pole. I don't want no drama abegi.. Love you all.